Funeral Troubadour

by Fabian Toonen

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Funeral Troubadour

A narrator reflects over his experiences which have lead him to become the Funeral Troubadour. Written during his emerging adult life, his songs detail events of loss, loneliness, depression, death, and isolation. The narrator, who plays accordion at funerals by day, joins a group of disaffected poets to drink away their sorrows by night. Slowly recovering from former tragedies, he finds purpose through his love for the Scottish barmaid, Alice, who has fled to Australia to follow her passion for interpretive dance. The lovers support each other with dreams of finding an alternative existence, helped by the young and energetic fashion graduate Daisy, who relates to the narrator through their shared loss.

Writing for catharsis, the narrator shares his memories with his poet friends. Tom the carefree Irishman whose poetry is inactivity and Charles the eccentric Englishman, whose charisma provides shelter against the society which surrounds their poetic enclave. Slowly the narrator deals with each of his past sorrows, finding reason within the process of writing emotionally charged songs and interpreting the events that have shaped his life. The Funeral Troubadour's contemplations on life and nature are translated into art in an attempt to communicate with humanity. His journey is a search for the delicate balance which will reveal the key to an inoffensive existence.


released November 19, 2015

Album and novella composed and written by Fabian Toonen
Vocals, Maton Acoustic Steel String Guitar, Knauss Coblenz Piano Forte, Brevetto Scandalli Piano Accordion performed by Fabian Toonen
Drums, Percussion, Contrabass performed by Adam Casey
Recorded and mixed at The True Vine, Melbourne, 2015 by Adam Casey
Mastered at Jack The Bear's Deluxe Mastering, Melbourne, 2015 by Adam Dempsey
Graphic Design by Eri Berry Art & Design
All rights reserved 2015, Fabian Toonen



all rights reserved


Fabian Toonen Melbourne, Australia

Fabian Toonen is a composer based in Melbourne, Australia.
He composes story albums representative of Australian folk culture.

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Track Name: All Over
All Over

I will not deny you, I’ll stay by your side
I will not be silent, nor will I be shy
I will come to find you, I will take what’s left
You will not delete this, at least not yet
You will pick your reason from that pile inside your head
So I cannot defeat this, all the games that you prepared

Oh and I will be the one to feel that I was left behind
You will show that I didn’t know what goes on in your mind
Now that you have left it to the air to divide
I’m not sure what that’s for but you have drawn a line
All over me

Time cannot heal me so I’m stepping out this way
If you come to read this love I wish that you could have stayed
But it’s just like the rain, love will come and go
But it doesn’t have to be like this, I just wanted you to know

There was a time when all was fine and I felt we were ahead
Then I find that you were blind as we lay in your bed
I thought you wanted to but I guess that I was wrong
If you decide you want to hide then I can’t see where you’re coming from

It’s all over now

I don’t want to be here, no I don’t want to be free
So if you won’t let me see you now, oh at least know just what you mean to me
Track Name: Her Downward Stare
Her Downward Stare

Her downward stare placed her somewhere
In the room of a book written two centuries before
Reconciled with her past her eyes
Became misted over involuntarily released
From the sensitivity of her delicate nature
She toiled over the creases in her summer dress
With a motion handed down from mother to daughter.
Realising the effect of her despair
She turned to me with a structured critic
Of myself, the atmosphere vibrated as the last words
Of her scathing attack echoed
Behind my ears then silence…

Her head now buried in her hands
She lost the advantage that her cold stare had won for her
Sensing the uselessness of further interrogations
She resigned herself to a less proud
But beautiful nonetheless pose of agitation
Over come by desire to resolve the sudden and hurtful
Outburst of a moments passing.

I without gallantry refused and denied my involvement,
Thus triggering her rebuff and departure from the room.
Track Name: First Night
First Night

You are everything, you are the bloom in the spring
You are my eyes when I can’t see
But you have lost control tonight and I do not understand
All of your words, all of your fears and all your demands
I try to be fair, oh how I try not to mess up your hair
But your sudden attack caught me so unaware
Look into my eyes, I’ve nothing to hide

I feel so good when you come so beautifully your eyes like the sea
Laid me down when our love was found
All I do in this world is to sing in praise of you like the first night
Hands trembling we became lost tenderly
All I need is for you to be happy and sure
I’ll try not to keep you on a string or inspire jealousy
I’ll always be true I’ll be here for you
I want to be lost in your sea, move so slow that’s how I’ll know
Where to breathe sensitively worlds apart we can be

As she stood there her lips moving oh so soothing
I noticed she was alone and free like me
Oh how she crowned me as I was fumbling in the dark
Waiting for a hand to guide me, she stepped beside me

How she knew I would be just like her, we danced lively
Her lips spoke of a place so nicely, we left quietly
All this time I held my excitement, don’t know why I did
Soft blue eyes came to meet mine for real this time

I’ve waited for this day
So long I’ve loved alone
I dropped to my knees
She came so gracefully

I will hold you, I will love you, I’ll lay by you, I will comfort you
And only you
Track Name: Cloud Baby
Cloud Baby

Don't go, don't leave me here all alone

She's a cloud baby growing in the sky
Pale when she evaporates, bruised when she cries
The sun colours her emotions, dark and light
Blonde on the horizon, silver at night

Tell me sister where I went wrong
Tell me sister where do I belong?

So tell me sister where I went wrong
So tell me sister where I belong?
So tell me sister where I went wrong
Tell me sister, tell me sister?
Where to belong? where to belong?
Tell me sister, tell me sister

Don't go, don't leave me here all alone
Track Name: Hassling The Flowers
Hassling the Flowers

Open water by the drowned out evening
Tiredness overcomes falling to grieving
Resonant drops under a clouded moon
Still she hoped they might not fall so soon

Subsiding legs gave into the murk
Naked and hopeless by the shore she lurked
Haphazard as she delved with trembling skin
Her eyes unsure her limbs refused to swim

The water darkening her embellished wrists
Embracing her sobbing and despairing lips
Her head disappears under the still surface
Disenchanted with life her death is so perfect

She has the deepest ocean eyes
Her tears are warming as she cries
Under her lids the pain she hides
So over her life she dies

To the repetition of the birds
Hassling the flowers
Track Name: Lonely Loners
Lonely Loners

All the lonely loners walking out your doors
Tails between their legs, looking like some whore
Stumbling through the rain, falling on their bare necks
Tears that cloud the pain, neither lost nor gained

Oh then they rise, all rise, to the place that they despise
Oh when it's over, when it's over, salty eyes
Oh when they rise, all rise, from where they hide
Oh then it's over, then it's over, lost disguise

Holding their hands, no where to go
Tears on demand, they've lost their homes
Chased like dogs, no seeds to sow, to sow
Like an empty hand all alone

All the lonely loners with nothing left to give
Society sucked them dry, left living for a lie
All the lonely loners crashing like the waves
Society left them dry with nothing left to save
Track Name: We Tried So Hard
We Tried So Hard

We tried so hard to fit in
To adapt in this world
Full of people without compassion
No one cares and no one’s willing

Burdened by society’s crimes we can’t take
Responsibility for everyone, too passionate to bow out
Too guilty to wash our hands
Solutions aren’t proved easily, problems just mount up

Despairing and depressed I’m always dragging you
And everyone down, with the problems of the world
The love that keeps me going, keeps me chained
To this course in life, we need a way out

Oh it’s hard for me, but it’s harder for you
Suicide’s too messy, life’s proved itself
Full of contradictions, we tried so hard
To fit in, to adapt, to fit in
We tried so hard to fit in, to adapt, to fit in
Track Name: Funeral Troubadour
Funeral Troubadour

Marching amidst towering forest spires
Scandalli accompanying toward the funeral pyre
Summer browned leaves rain continuously
Feathering their way from the Eucalypt canopy

Trickling to the ground in metamorphosis
Butterflies emerge all swirling in catharsis
Faces greet the scene uncomprehendingly
Awkwardly stumbling upon emotional feet

Past the funeral troubadour

Scandalli's last notes lead into the remembrance chant
Low and monotonous, bordering on a rant
Leg shifting sighs like cattle tail switching
Impatient hands resist fidgeting

The zenith sun sweat catches in belted reservoirs
Quiet relief released by the audience from afar
Engulfed by the lazy symbolic flames
Memories relived as tearful notes refrain

Past the funeral troubadour
Track Name: Sandstorm

It’s been so long since I had begun
To believe that this can be won
How long has this been going on?
Riding into a sandstorm

But you know that we’ll be there in the end
Unless we never meet again
It’s hard to take like a kick in the teeth
Acknowledging the forgone conclusion of defeat

I want to know
How far you’d go
If you could see
What’s burning me?

La da da da

If I could feel
That time was real
I know for sure
I’d be at your door
In the morning